tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-154908642024-03-21T03:32:48.334-07:00Thirty-ish...I live in Los Feliz, another tiny compartment of Los Angeles, I am 34, and I am not ashamed.cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-67847838231402740262010-04-06T18:48:00.000-07:002010-04-06T18:53:05.236-07:00A burst of Clarity, Old thoughts, Jan 2009...im up all night, but not on purpose. i have a million thoughts<br />competing for attention in my head. wild delicious imaginative artful<br />crazy thoughts. I have a.d.d.,, not the pretend kind, the real kind,<br />the kind where your mom still calls to make sure your cleaning your<br />room and paying your bills and offering money before u bottom out your<br />account. Day 6 off my meds, not purposeful, more practical, being sick<br />does not warrant the neccesity for focus. But while the mediction im<br />on helps with impulse and focus on say, not getting distracted while<br />running my errands, it really took the oomph out of my creative ideas,<br />my outside the box way of thinking and the rapid spitfire of ideas<br />that really come colliding and competing for attention. It dulled the<br />chaotic chatter, the chatter is best turned off for driving, but bad<br />to not have it for my writing. Tonight for instance, I researched image<br />consulting businesses, thought of a new tv show idea about<br />understanding what and why we eat, worked on an old draft for another<br />reality show, and in bed, figured out redocorating ideas for the<br />apartment. I am crazy. But in a good way. Hope this inspiration<br />lasts!cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-39802213307534564622008-10-20T23:23:00.000-07:002008-10-20T23:26:38.284-07:00on love and loss...This is from Stephanie Klein's blog, and I love what it says...<br /><br />"I think the key to a happy life, a full life, is to love all you have, to feel lucky for each interaction, to watch and interact and learn from the people in your circle, BUT to realize that they're not yours to keep. When you go at life with this outlook, you take responsibility of your own happiness and don't overstep your bounds and force your shit onto someone else. You have to love deeply, but loosely, knowing each of us has our own journey and that those in our path will forever change it, change us, but they're not ours to keep. We all have to embrace the unknown. And one of the hardest things to realize is that it's not disloyal to move on. I think so many of us allow guilt to discolor our happiest moments because we think we're betraying the person who's gone. We worry that if we aren't constantly grieving and missing and aching that it means we loved them less. We wrongly equate the severity of our pain with the depth and sincerity of our love.<br /><br />The truth is--and it's hard to always live it this way--that it's a cycle, and one day when it's our turn, we'll leave behind loved ones who'll feel angry that we're not there to experience things with them, angry that we didn't have more opportunities to experience the highs. It's why in honor of those we love, we have to commit to eating the marrow, to live without the self-inflicted guilt, to live our lives out loud while they're ours to live.<br /><br />I'm not saying it's easy to love loosely. The truth is we can't live our lives in prevention mode, keeping our feelings under lockdown, hoping to escape the inevitable pain one day. Because it never fucking works. But it has to make it easier seeing each moment as a loan."<br /><br /><br />there are too many times that people feel guilty for moving on from things, but its okay, life changes, people's paths change, and you can't hold onto someone tightly that doesn't want to be held on to... sometimes people go on different paths and grow apart, and sometimes people's needs are met better by someone or something else, but it doesn't necessarily mean that what you had with someone meant any less.cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-60551318071958824772008-08-18T03:11:00.000-07:002008-08-18T03:17:50.184-07:00wasting time...i'm drunk. and why not, I've been very good all weekend. so tonight I drink. and download songs from jr high and high school, trash can sinatras, the cure, morrissey, i'm alone, back in my 14 year old world of angst and longing, just me and my headphones. my husbands asleep and needs to wake up in an hour, I will probably be up a few hours after, calling my new job and trying to finagle a week in october i need off, ordering bridal shower stuff for a friend that i'm not sure wants to get married, hoping my ADD pills will keep me from eating enough for another day to get me to fit into my bridesmaid dress i'm suppose to wear in two weeks, and in the mean time, procrastinating, remembering scott smith and matt stevens, angela parker and rayna martinez, people who i don't know what happened to recently, names changes, families forged, people that meant so much, but now are lost. but i still have "lullaby", "king lear" and "fascination street".....cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-32620656585762726862008-03-27T17:13:00.000-07:002008-03-27T17:20:59.017-07:00Hilarious article a friend wrote...So many people focus so much energy on "the wedding" that they completely forget you're stuck married to the guy after! Although I lucked out and am living in the reality of life-ever-after (sometimes happy and sometimes not), here is a good article to read about what happens when you're divorced by 30...<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.laweekly.com/la-vida/la-vida/how-to-get-divorced-by-30/18574/">How to get Divorced by 30</a>cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-29429159901247077642007-09-24T15:10:00.000-07:002007-09-24T15:10:55.066-07:00Escape from Barzilla - OpinionHere is an old article that I wrote for my college newspaper, the daily aztec, when i had a biweekly opinon column!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://media.www.thedailyaztec.com/media/storage/paper741/news/1996/11/07/Opinion/Escape.From.Barzilla-762728-page2.shtml">Escape from Barzilla - Opinion</a>cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-38977229883617262462007-07-02T22:50:00.000-07:002007-07-02T23:02:49.673-07:00More than I could have ever hope for....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiitxaiEMotjE1RLZQ8-TajUsrJXg_3ujb8FaC1M2U1BjCyA-KOzbJYOemw16007Bmh40JvVxlPArbnxhfntPIqmh4Uv2yTe9JHbUS3VOyDwG_x-JHMrg6mjh5Rp4yu9X4rNGDwMQ/s1600-h/bridesmaidsinarow.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiitxaiEMotjE1RLZQ8-TajUsrJXg_3ujb8FaC1M2U1BjCyA-KOzbJYOemw16007Bmh40JvVxlPArbnxhfntPIqmh4Uv2yTe9JHbUS3VOyDwG_x-JHMrg6mjh5Rp4yu9X4rNGDwMQ/s320/bridesmaidsinarow.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5082847051234610066" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ3WUslgiENAhSM_rqWp8SVNS09x8hm1rN1zrFfxkJ-QBEPJFIjnlmQ920VJIB65H3rJLMBbHV-Q5d3hGOPD3g-TMsjmctOUYZLkq8mE1t2HoV-8rkQxTCk7smbh9xyX-ixPrkXw/s1600-h/Mr_and_ms_Leoni.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ3WUslgiENAhSM_rqWp8SVNS09x8hm1rN1zrFfxkJ-QBEPJFIjnlmQ920VJIB65H3rJLMBbHV-Q5d3hGOPD3g-TMsjmctOUYZLkq8mE1t2HoV-8rkQxTCk7smbh9xyX-ixPrkXw/s320/Mr_and_ms_Leoni.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5082847055529577378" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_k0flq44I4GWRkfTAZnjUJprVw43U9_8Z4aYaYzGUJLAbHVC2CUq5WD3PoHJ-hJg5O2aXtXinbGACLrNts5J24jUFuQ8YU4_ohckKU9BacSRD1N0D1twHBUegwlnzsGVoKIxFQ/s1600-h/IMG_0632.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_k0flq44I4GWRkfTAZnjUJprVw43U9_8Z4aYaYzGUJLAbHVC2CUq5WD3PoHJ-hJg5O2aXtXinbGACLrNts5J24jUFuQ8YU4_ohckKU9BacSRD1N0D1twHBUegwlnzsGVoKIxFQ/s320/IMG_0632.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5082847064119511986" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguRAu95IoK7pKpzEBzYFy0TxUUijTF1lHAUpWRLCUF9R7sqPozZaxG1pd2YL80bU-BMOo4AhsHUy5XH6oAMYwQXjo_hZZ23Jv5dCdh3nmLkrNm6Zrf2OcRBXPD82r8DLbqi-z1wA/s1600-h/IMG_0658.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguRAu95IoK7pKpzEBzYFy0TxUUijTF1lHAUpWRLCUF9R7sqPozZaxG1pd2YL80bU-BMOo4AhsHUy5XH6oAMYwQXjo_hZZ23Jv5dCdh3nmLkrNm6Zrf2OcRBXPD82r8DLbqi-z1wA/s320/IMG_0658.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5082847068414479298" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgov7loftHOQpAsUSIdFMaGcVlVkwmIwZo-HiYAL-Cf6QiPQWRU4J_PLzuI2xOEUInx3UBBfbGfZP9QBsIwIsL5BsODP8-oHOIIxmhCNluWyk8oTeQKo8rvvpvHFQI81RRsKT_buA/s1600-h/memarkcutcake.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgov7loftHOQpAsUSIdFMaGcVlVkwmIwZo-HiYAL-Cf6QiPQWRU4J_PLzuI2xOEUInx3UBBfbGfZP9QBsIwIsL5BsODP8-oHOIIxmhCNluWyk8oTeQKo8rvvpvHFQI81RRsKT_buA/s320/memarkcutcake.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5082847072709446610" /></a><br />This summed up my wedding day....amazing, overwhelming, but endlessly awe invoking! I loved every minute of it and wished it didn't go by so fast! Here are a few photos, more to come, since these aren't unofficial from friends-- I can't wait to see what my photographer captured!cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1161041808002195312006-10-16T16:32:00.000-07:002006-10-16T16:36:48.016-07:00Blues and greens?I think I'm leaning towards having blue and green be my colors, with accents of orange.... here are some looks i love....<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/product8%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/product8%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/linen15%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/linen15%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/linen14%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/linen14%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/linen12%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/linen12%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1161030651681313212006-10-16T13:13:00.000-07:002006-10-16T13:30:51.783-07:00Wedding coordinator bluesSo, my mom insisted we hire a wedding coordinator, since we're doing the wedding in San Diego, and I live in L.A., but we hired the first one we spoke with and now I'm really wishing I had shopped around, or at least interviewed a few others. Turns out my coordinator usually deals with only higher end weddings, and has suggested an estimated budget for us at....$58,800!!!!! For 150 people! We're by no means wealthy, and I couldn't imagine spending a down payment for a home on a one day wedding! She's trying to tell me that paying anything less than 6500 for a photographer comprimises "quality," and that we can go lower than 4500 for flowers, but we'd be looking pretty sparse. Come on! I work in production! I wasn't born yesterday, and I know how to finagle a deal or two! And more specifically, when we hired her, I told her I wanted her to think party, not wedding. So, for those of you that in the market for a coordinator, I would suggest asking the following questions:<br /><br />What is the average budget of the weddings you plan?<br /><br />Do you have vendors to reccomend that fall in a variety of price ranges?<br /><br />Do you think you can still acheive an amazing event despite any budget limitations?<br /><br />Those are three questions I wish I would have asked before I signed her contract. Now I'm not sure if we're stuck, or if I should figure out how to cut our losses and hire someone else!<br /><br />Did any of you have problems or concerns with a coordinator? Are there any other questions you might ask before hiring one on?cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1160605731990987722006-10-11T15:19:00.000-07:002006-10-11T15:34:21.133-07:00Photo booth fun!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/guestbook%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/guestbook%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I am really excited about having a photo booth at the wedding! It will be a great way for people to have their own keepsakes, and also to have fun imprompotu photos for our guestbook! I'm thinking of using these guys, Red Cheese photo booth, because they give you two copies (so your friends won't steal the ones intended for your guest book!)<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/booth%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/booth%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/photos%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/photos%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1160427855374684062006-10-09T13:57:00.000-07:002006-10-09T14:04:15.393-07:00I registered!Sorry the posts have been sporatic! I shoot on fridays, and this weekend i was computerless-- my dear old mac is in the shop and they're back-logged so i'm out a home computer for a week!<br /><br />So, I started our first registration at Crate and Barrell, I think we're also going to do Macy's and either Williams Sonoma or Z Gallerie, we thought about registering at Target, but we shop there ourselves all the time, and isn't the point of a registery for the sorts of nicer things you wouldn't be normaly buying yourself? I don't think I'll feel truly married until I have a cuisineart standing mixer and some crystal and china! I went to Crate and Barrel with my engaged best friend, and it was so much fun to have the scanner and run like crazy through the store! I didn't register for much since my fiance wasn't there, but I did pick out some cookbooks and great kitchen stuff like cedar wood for bbqing and a french press! <br /><br />Where did you decide to register? And how many places did you end up registering at? And in the end, what did you end up getting, keeping or taking back?cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1160072269007939532006-10-05T11:11:00.000-07:002006-10-05T11:17:49.010-07:00I love orchids!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/orange%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/orange%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/1600/green%20cymbidium%20bouquet%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4395/452/320/green%20cymbidium%20bouquet%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br />I definitely want orchids everywhere!cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1160071665181142982006-10-05T11:01:00.000-07:002006-10-05T11:07:45.196-07:00Economical bridesmaids dressesI'm trying to find some hot, fun, funky dresses for my super stylish ladies, but everything I'm finding is waaaaaaaaaay out of what I think is an appropriate price range! I've been in a few weddings where we just found material and got dresses made, but that can be a hit or miss depending on the dress-maker. I also don't want the girls spending tons of money on something that they may never wear again. How much do you think is too much to ask your girls to spend on dresses? And have you ever been in a wedding that you actually wore the dress again?cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1159906373747404492006-10-03T12:56:00.000-07:002006-10-05T11:10:58.796-07:00Asking your bridesmaidsI've already asked most of my bridesmaids to be in my wedding just over the phone, but I just ordered the cutest "Will you be my bridsmaid?" cards to send out as an official invitation, but also I would love to include the story of our friendship and why they are so special to me. The cards are adorable, it says "Will you be my bridesmaid? I promise not to make you wear an ugly dress!" I'll post a copy when I recieve them!<br /><br />My fiance and I are trying to figure out what gifts to give to our wedding party, I'm definitley doing name necklaces for the girls (a la "Sex in the City" Carrie necklace) and we're thinking either cuff links for the guys or these flasks from Urban Outfitters that I found that have "El Boracho" engraved on them (which for those of you that don't speak spanish, means "the drunk," a completely appropriate gift for our groomsmen!)<br /><br /><br /><br />What are some other unique gifts to give to a wedding party?cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1159466492354803182006-09-28T10:40:00.000-07:002006-09-28T11:05:45.563-07:00Double the fun...two brides and two weddings!My best friend Stacey got engaged a week before me, our fiance's are really close as well, but they didn't tell each other that they were going to ask us, so it was a fun surprise to discover that we had two weddings to plan! Stacey is getting married January 13th in Palm Springs, and we're both in each others weddings. Its been a little strange planning, because we both like the same things, but we both want to ensure that both our weddings are unique, since we have a lot of the same friends that will be attending both. We spaced it out so that neither of us will steal the others thunder...but its been so fun to have someone to bounce ideas off of and talk non-stop about the wedding with. We drove across country at the end of the summer and spent over 40 hours discussing the weddings, and we still didn't cover it all. It's actually been a relief for our fiances, because now we don't bug them nearly as much as we could, and its great to have someone to go to bridal shows and dress stores with, and spend hours looking at fabric and discussing flowers and reading magazines! And right now, all four of us are living together in a compound of a 2 bedroom house and a 1 bedroom studio, so Stacey is constantly over for wedding tv show night. Did anybody else end up sharing their engagement and planning with another bride to be? Did it make the planning more fun or difficult?cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1159398149883997332006-09-27T15:45:00.000-07:002006-09-27T16:02:29.893-07:00I really am getting married...I know this because my dear lovely wedding coordinator sent me a timeline. For the year. I'm getting married next June, but I now know exactly what I need to be doing every month until it happens. The Knot (a popular wedding website) also has a countdown clock till "the big day" and now I know that I have 255 days till THE day. Today, I really need to be working on my edit for my show, but instead, I'm researching wedding photographers online (since I have to meet with them, along with DJ's, either October 21 or 29th), reading wedding blogs, looking at bridesmaid dresses, and basically procrastinating. A coworker of mine got married last June, and she was telling me how crazy it is that this one day will be so all consuming until it happens-- which I already agree. I've been blowing hundreds of dollars on wedding magazines, and my tv schedule has been reduced to watching episodes of "Platinum Weddings," "Whose wedding is it anyway?" and whatever wedding movie is on HBO (Currently, "The Wedding Date") I even missed the series premiere of "Grey's Anatomy" and I LOVE that show! My coworker assured me that all my regular hobbies, and interests will come back as soon as the wedding is over...but I think I might begin to miss it a little. I haven't been this obsessed about anything since junior high (which at the time was Johnny Depp, River Phoenix, Guess jeans with the zippers at the ankles and anything Kero kero keroppi, in that order). And who, by the way, would have thought that skinny jeans would come back?cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1149404296846430622006-06-03T23:54:00.000-07:002006-06-03T23:58:16.856-07:00He proposed....and i said yes!On Sunday, May 28th, my dear lovely wonderful boyfriend asked me to marry him! We got a room and the Viceroy and he spelled out "will you marry me" in tealight candles! It was a complete surprise, which is just the way I would have imagined it to be! So now I'm sure I'll be blogging about my road to the altar, we've been egaged a week and already the madness is happening ......more to come!cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1144648043877637182006-04-09T22:34:00.000-07:002006-04-09T22:47:23.886-07:00drunk boyfriendMy boyfriend is drunk and passed out on the floor next to the couch...I haven't vaccuumed in awhile so I hope that he's not breathing in too much cat hair. Sometimes I wonder what the hell we're still doing...but tommorrow he'll wake up and write me a song, or paint something amazing and once again i'll fall for the tortured artist apology speil...coltrane keeps meowing, and i want to play some records really loud, but its late and the loft is too echoey and i'm not drunk enough to not give a f-ck what the neighbors think...i had a long shoot today and i'm too tired for pajamas, i'm all out of wine (and I knew I should have bought some at Whole Foods last night) but oh shiat! I forgot I did buy some sake! Yay! I'll just drink that and read magazines...I miss my friends, they are either pregnant, new moms, or too far away to just meet up to cackle over martinis with....that is what I really love about my girlfriends, we don't laugh, we cackle, loud and obnoxiously, we feed eachother food at the bar, listen deeply, tell each other we love you at the end of every conversation, and hug and kiss and hold each other when its been awhile...cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1141961181322094002006-03-09T19:25:00.000-08:002006-03-09T19:26:21.333-08:00i'm 30 and 1/2...half way to 31. And I haven't even been posting! Shame on me! I better begin to document my 30's a little better!cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1132116251096744852005-11-15T20:41:00.000-08:002005-11-15T20:44:11.106-08:00car accidents suckSo someone hit my car today, while I was driving out of In n Out in Santa Clarita, of all places, we were out there for a location scout and starving and finally ate and were heading back to the office when BAM someone hit the front end of my car as I was trying to pull out of the driveway onto the street. It sucks. Now I have to get a rental and wait weeks and weeks till its ready. I am so sad, my poor car is all alone at the body shop in Valencia, where it doesn't know anyone and doesn't know what is going to happen to it. I miss my car already.cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1129162362773460532005-10-12T17:02:00.000-07:002005-10-12T17:12:42.780-07:00so I've been lagging on posting...but for a good reason! I finally got a job and started working again! yay! Those 2 1/2 months off were really killing me, and my boyfriend, who was pretty much supporting us during my hiatus....but yes, I got the call the day after my birthday, so not only was I thirty, but also employed again! <br /><br />for those of you that don't know, which I suppose is most everyone that is reading this blog, I work in entertainment, specifically television, even more specifically, reality television. I'm a free-lance associate producer, trying to work my way up to producer, but still not sure if this whole thing is what I really want to do...it pays the bills and its fun, but I want to be a writer, not a pseudo writer creating segments for a cheesy show. I won't name my show right now, but it is at MTV, and it is cheesy.<br /><br />I have not done anything fun in a long, long time, so I am determined to do something exciting this weekend! and I'm working on getting a digital camera so I can post photos of places I go, people I see, and things i do. I might as well document my first year of my thirties much better than i documented my twenties. (actually, a lot of my 20's I avoided the camera-- due to the many slightly illegal circumstances that I found myself in, especially those at 5am, much better to have kept to those that participated!)cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1126762247459823352005-09-14T22:04:00.000-07:002005-09-14T22:30:47.466-07:0030th Birthday RecapSo, I thought that everyone had been acting weird; Stacey changed the subject everytime I asked her about what we were going to do for my birthday, and mark and I kept fighting about everything, and it turns out they were acting weird because Mark threw me a surprise party...and i was soooooooo shocked. Mostly because he swore up and down that he would never ever do anything like that for me "What am i going to do?" he said, "steal your phone and call all your friends? That is not me." And I believed him because he never was good at birthdays, for the last 4 years we've been together, I think I only got a card once and it had Sponge bob square pants on it (talk about romantic) But he duped me. Everyone did. We checked into The Standard Hotel, here in Downtown, which is about 3 blocks from our house, and I thought that was my romantic birthday surprise. We had plans to go to a nice dinner at this steak restuarant with my best friend and her husband who drove up from San Diego and were staying at the same hotel. So after dinner, which was mellow, I thought we'd go to the roof bar at the hotel and maybe call some other friends to coome, so we get up to the room to freshen up, and I see the room is decorated as I opened the door, and I thought that Mark had the maid decorate, and then I walked in and my older sister and stacey and her boyfriend adam and michelle and matt and Jamie and Ryan and Carlos and Kirk, and a couple of other friends of friends yelled SURPRISE and they had baked me my favorite cake (yellow with chocolate frosting) and everyone knew and had been planning, and here I was, sad and lonely and about to break up with my boyfriend because I was sure he was going to blow off my birthday-- and he had planned the whole thing (with a little help from my sis and stace). He also got me jewelery, for the first time our whole relationship. I thought I was getting turntables and a mixer, but I got a gorgeous onyx and silver necklace. So we drank the liquor that had been fully stocked in the room, then went up to the roof and danced and drank, then back to the room to drink more, then Jamie knew I wanted everyone out, so she started a bubble bath in our huge suite, and made everyone leave. <br /><br />So entering my 30's ended up being a lot mellower than I imagined, but also, I think I've had enough craziness througout my 20's to last me well into my 30's. But it is kind of sad, I watched the clock click down on Wedneday night August 31st, to turn into Thursday, September 1st, and I got really sad that I was leaving. My 20's had been so fun, so invigorating; going to college, getting my first apartment, partying with my friends, making out with cute boys, moving to LA, getting my first real job, moving in with my boyfriend-- but also, so sad-- wallowing in a 4 year depression, dealing with almost debilitating anxiety without medication, losing what i thought was my true love, feeling such intense loneliness, feeling like no one really knew me, that I didn't know myself, and didn't really want to...but its been my favorite decade yet, and I wasn't really ready for it to end.<br /><br />But now, I'm going to go about embracing my 30's, being happier with where I am, who I am, and who I'm with. This year is the beginning of something, I know it, I've always felt it, but I think I've always been putting it off-- but not anymore...cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1125564621794776572005-09-01T01:50:00.000-07:002005-09-01T01:50:21.800-07:00It's official...I'm 30 years oldSo it is after midnight and I am feeling a little sad, my tweties went out with a whisper, and my thirties started with a soft murmer...today I had a job interview, which I think went pretty well, then I had lunch at In N Out because I was trying to be cheap and actually budget, then I attempted to go get a haircut, but chickened out (it's impossible for a girl with super curly hair to not have a mild anxiety attack when meeting a new hairdresser) I looked at furniture, found some cute stuff, went to Target, bought some baskets so i can put away some shit, met Arnold for lunch and we laughed about how we're 30 with no jobs but somehow i manage to drive a nice car, and he managed to go to Barcelona for a month (ah, the joys of freelancing and unemployment). I went to the mall, looked for some shoes and/or a shirt, then picked up my BF, he dropped me off while he borrowed the car-- "come back by midnight so i won't have to bring in my birthday alone," surfed the internet, watched the hurricane special, then at 11:55 while I was about to feel really bummed, BF showed up with cheap champagne..."happy birthday," he said, he squeezed really tight, "it's official, you're 30!" "now i am really your 'old lady'" he laughed, "yes you are," but, I do feel a little sad, a decade that i wasn't quite ready to shed is over, i know that growing older and wiser is better, but sometimes, a little part of me wants to go back and be as excited as i was embarking on 20, 21, even 25...cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1125205138720576792005-08-27T21:57:00.000-07:002005-08-27T21:58:58.723-07:00my last saturday night of my twenties...and I am here sitting in my loft in front of the computer eavesdropping on blogs...i need to muster some enthusiasm and go get a cocktail...cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1124864413115075952005-08-23T23:10:00.000-07:002005-08-24T01:43:50.846-07:00an alternate meI always wanted to be the girl that had a full sleeve of tattoos, wore 50's dresses with my 50's pin-up bettie page haircut, drove an old car with suicide doors, dated a greaser...but instead I'm the girl that wears a collection of furry or tweed hats, jeans and high heels, has long curly style lacking hair, never had a peircing or tattoo, drives a year old car. But I did manage to date a greaser...cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15490864.post-1124774725424273842005-08-22T22:23:00.000-07:002005-08-24T01:43:05.216-07:00afternoons downtownI like walking around downtown at rush hour, with all the people spilling out of their offices, rushing off to the metro or their parked car 4 blocks away, I like to see the look of relief on their faces with the day finally over, anticipating an evening. I wonder what places they'll spread out to, who, if anyone, will greet them when they get there, whether dinner will be waiting, or whether they'll pick something up on their way home. I wonder if they have hobbies or aspirations, a date or six-pack and some internet porn, yelling kids or a nagging mom. Everyone smiling, if briefly, to be able to be back on their own time.cinabinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17909143395336035269noreply@blogger.com0